Must have been influenced by my idols but somehow I can relate some of my struggles to them. Yes some moments were hard and full with hindrance. It's quite hard to imagine how I was able to juggle all those random messed up stuffs.
There were moments that I whispered to my self is this really my down fall?. When doubts filled my mind and the capabilities that I can't do. Since all that you done in order to reach certain level of your plans were just diminished in an instant.
I was breathing hard after each piece of my plans were slowly falling into different consequences. The agony the rippled on my thoughts, crushed my emotions into shattered bits. The unexpected just happened and I didn't know what hit me.
As I reflect on the things that I have done. There were true remorse that I found out, Why I was careless about it? I was merely selfish and impractical about the decision that I made before. And now I am paying the price.
There was no doubt I was in suicidal state because of confusions and complicated thoughts. As I try to grab and familiarize all the scenarios to come up with possibilities that I can prepare for. To outwit and outlast this storm takes balls and fortitude both mentally and physically.
As I tried to understand why all these things happened I realized they happened for a reason. What you did on the past has something to do on what will happen in the future. This makes sense as things are connected to everything. You can't just rely on luck alone for it's a sweet lie.
27 you have been suicidal and I am glad I surpassed you. I your curse and other bad lucks would be gone as I peel off my self from you. Now as I gain momentum I will make sure I will enjoy my journey.
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